Another video but also a poem! That's better right?

Youtube time once again. I don't know this video isn't very interesting, except for my impression of an Italian midterm. You should watch that part. To expound upon my point about going to a wake, it was a very odd experience for me.  My relative who passed away I didn't know very well, so I sort of felt out of place except that everyone knew who I was and was asking me about school and life, but then there's a dead body sitting up at the front of the room. I guess this is my poem about it.

What is a wake?
A conversation about a body
A conversation over a body
You’ve gotten so tall
How old are you again?
Wow, a writer, that’s wonderful.
What is a wake?
Is it for her to wake or for us to wake
And wake to what?
Wake for what?
Awake, awakened, reawakened
But all I want to do is sleep
It seems indecent to be hungry
And yet I am
It seems indecent to be excited to get dressed up to slather makeup on my face zipper up my boots blow dry my hair and stare in the mirror and judge
And yet I do
So what is a wake?
Or rather, why is a wake?
Why not just the funeral, the real deed to be done, after all.
But still we wake.
For her?

For us?

For no one at all and nothing but an excuse to look at a body
What is a wake?


Fair warning, I haven't written a poem in a very, very long time. This was just a way to sort of get my feelings out there, I wrote this during my freshman year seminar class, which I'm sure my professor really appreciated. Also in that video up there I talk about NaNoWriMo, which is National Novel Writing Month.  That is correct, through the month of November I will be valiantly attempting to write a novel. In 30 days. 50,000 words. Ahhhhh. I've been thinking lately how I haven't written anything in quite a while "because I'm busy" or more accurately, because I'm lazy and I'm afraid it won't be any good. And now this excellent opportunity has presented itself for me to start writing again, so I will be taking on a lot more then I can handle, and hopefully by the end of the month I can say that I've written a novel. That would be a very cool thing to say. I think I'm done now, so bye.

Communal Bathrooms and Why You Should Hate Them

I'm shamelessly whoring myself out on my own blog again, first of all because it's my blog and I can, and second of all because 23 views is a travesty that needs to be corrected immediately. I couldn't think of a better thing to talk about in a video, so there it is.  I need viewers and subscribers and commenters and raters and whatever the hell else you can do on youtube to a channel to do a lot of the other ideas I have, such as TMI Tuesday where I read TMI's that people send me. I don't know about you, but I think me looking disgusted and feeling awkward on camera would be really funny and worthwhile.  I was also toying with the idea of 69 Damn You Fine Fridays, where I talk about a really hot guy that you should love and/or stalk. I could do that without viewers but it's more fun when people actually watch you. SO WATCH MY VIDEOS THEY'LL GET FUNNIER I PROMISE.

I mean, just look at these quality stills.

How could you not watch this video?

Mountain Dew and vodka does nothing for a Macbook.

I decided to post a blog today because my friend Celina Blackberry Messaged me and said "I love your blog." At first, I was confused as to why she was even reading my blog (apparently she was bored), but then I decided that I didn't care any ways and that it just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and inspire me to put something up. 
Last Saturday, my friend Lauren and I decided that we were going to drink alone in her dorm since everyone else went home for the weekend or was busy. We also decided that the best way to get drunk was to play a Harry Potter drinking game while watching The Goblet of Fire. The rules were as follows.

Take a drink every time:

• you see Cedric Diggory
• someone says "muggle"
• someone casts a spell
• Ron and Hermione awkwardly flirt
• someone talks in an accent that's not British
• someone says "Triwizard Tournament"
• someone says "Voldemort" or "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"

Clearly, we're just ridiculous nerds. Also, to any one who knows anything about the world of Harry Potter, this drinking game would get you ridiculously drunk, especially when the vodka your drink is mixed with smells suspiciously of rubbing alcohol. I decided it would be a good idea to bring my Macbook to Lauren's room with me.  In retrospect, not the best idea, since I ended up spilling a mixture of Mountain Dew and rubbing alcohol vodka on it. Of course, drunk me was still like this.

"No, self, your laptop will be totally fine just wipe it off with your sleeve and keep drinking til you can barely walk back to your own room wo0o0o0ooo party"

After I sort of threw up on her floor, Lauren decided it would be a good idea if I went back to my own room, which I somehow managed before I blacked out and started texting and calling people. The next morning, I was extremely concerned about my computer. I was also extremely concerned because I felt like I was going to blow chunks. And I did. All over the floor. Thankfully it was clear liquid and easy to clean, but not until I had slipped in it on my way to getting a towel, therefore winning the "Classy College Chick" award. I was so proud.

It was then that I realized that something was horribly wrong with my Macbook Pro.  Some of the keys were sticking really badly and my touchpad wasn't working at all.  Apparently, it did not take too kindly to the Mountain Dew and vodka. Thankfully, the rest of the computer was completely fine and some of the function has come back to the touchpad since then, but it's still nowhere near where it was.  I now have to use this stupid little USB mouse most of the time until I can get it checked out in the Apple Store to see how much it would cost to get it cleaned out.

I hate this thing.

The moral of this sad, sad tale is to never mix electronics with vodka. Bad things happen. I live this life so you won't have to.

Also, I'll probably be making a new youtube video tomorrow and posting it so make sure you watch it and junk.

I suck.

I do indeed suck, because I haven't updated this in a long time like I said I would.  I'm a filthy liar and also now I'm updating when I should really be studying for the Italian quiz I have tomorrow because that's what smart, respectable college students do.  I am triply terribly because I'm only posting to plug the new project that I've decided to undertake: youtube.


 I dont even know if this video is going to show up, but that is a video I made the other night on my channel, http://www.youtube.com/user/opaquering, which is clearly in its extreme infancy as I only have 2 videos at the moment.  I used to have more videos, but they were all stupid and filled with lame so I got rid of them. I am not too proud to beg so PLEASE WATCH MY VIDEO I worked so damn hard on it and I'm making more, so if you like it please oh please subscribe as well. To get you interested, here are some funny stills from said video.

How could you not love that face? Also, I can't figure out how to fix the size of the video ahhhhh :(

I've been watching Big Time Rush for hours.

I haven't been on here in a few weeks? I think? May be it's just been a few days, staying up until 5 on the internet, playing videogames, and reading Harry Potter, then waking up around 2 or 3 the next day is crippling my ability to discern one day from the next.  I start college next Sunday, which bodes the question "WHEN IN GOD'S NAME DID I BECOME AN ADULT OH JESUS?!" I quit my job because I'm moving on campus and I remember what it's like to not have any money, and I assume this feeling will persist throughout this year and next year, and next year, and the next... Also, my mother informed me that, although my parents will be paying the $5000 of my tuition that is not covered this year, next year and each subsequent year I will have to find a job or jobs that will enable me in paying $300 a month for tuition. I'm already panicking.  I mean honestly, is this the face of an adult who can come up with $5000 to be spent on something other then food and makeup?

Incidentally, enjoy my new Snuggie.  It's purple, warm, comfy and has pockets.  I guess I'll use it to comfort me when my lack of money grips my soul, reducing me to cold empty tears.  In other slightly less depressing news, I'm going to New Hampshire with my mom and sister for the weekend.  My cousins live next to a Cumberland Farms.  This means 79 cent slushies at 2 in the morning for 2 days.  These are things that make me happy, and I can drown all my worries in the frosty depths of 79 cent blue raspberry deliciousness.  I'm glad I can take a break from getting ready to leave my childhood home for a new and scary world in Boston, where bad kids will corrupt me and take my innocence.  Thankfully, I ordered all my books for my classes fairly early from Amazon and they're all here.  Unfortunately, some of them are really heavy.

Exhibit A. I don't even know why my college is forcing me to take an Excel class.  I don't even have Excel! I have a Macbook, which has Numbers, which I will never use because I'm a useless English Literature and Writing Major.  So I have to drag this floppy behemoth with its spiral excuse for a spine around with me every Monday, to the library or computer lab because, as I said, I have a Macbook and do not have Excel, so I have to take that class with one of the school HPs. I assume I will be wearing that ridiculous displeased expression that I'm wearing in the picture to that class every Monday.  It makes my chin look like gravel. Also, I've somehow acquired 4 followers! Welcome, please don't let me scare you off.

Why I Wear Makeup

Many lovely ladies around the world spend infinite amounts of money trying to make themselves less ugly.  I am one of them.  I admit, I really do spend way too much money on makeup and other products in an attempt to detract from my less desirable features.  We all have things we do not like about ourselves, and we try to improve upon them.  Often this goes too far.

Sometimes though, you can get just the right balance and make yourself respectable to look at.  Because really, I wear makeup for you.  Every girl wears makeup for the people who have to look at her all day.  They need something nice to look at, because who doesn't like to look at nice things?  As long as you don't hate yourself as much as Heidi or Kim Kardashian, it is a selfless act, which others will appreciate.  Because really, would you rather look at this?

Or this?

The choice is yours.

Spoils Of My Mothers Neurotic Tendencies

Before I went to work today, my mother decided to clean out the crawl space, for some reason I don't understand.  Something along the lines of "the piles of crap in there need to be dealt with", even though the point of a crawl space is to stack piles of crap so that they're not littering your house for potential guests to oogle at.  Whatever.  She found a lot of my old stuff, including my box of old CDs.  These CDs range in age from about 5th grade to roughly 8th or 9th grade. Some of them were quality finds and I was quite pleased with their recovery.

I thought these CDs were long gone from my life, but they may bless my ears with sweet melodies again, thanks to my mother's persistent cleaning. I also found these beauties.

I live and breathe for Broadway music, it is like flamboyant crack to me.  These things all made me really happy.

However, where there is good there is undoubtedly bad lurking in the shadows. I also found these old CDs in the box.

I bought things without thinking about them as a young'n.  All the wasted money brings fake internet tears to my fake internet eyes.  I was horribly displeased with my former self for these, as well as the huge stack of the other CDs that I could barely even look at any more.

Of course, I also found some things that made my chubby little heart flutter with nostalgia, precious memories that I need tangible items to bring up because clearly they are not important enough on their own.

These include;

 

This gem.  Can you tell I wrote my name all by myself?

Guess which one I am? P.S. I'm the fat one.

Now these just really made me laugh.  I wish I had a scanner so I could scan some pages in, because they are obscene.  I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to put devil horns on some people and hearts around others when I see this children every day. Good job, past me, really astute.

This was by far the coolest thing that was unearthed.  This is a greatest hits Beatles record that I bought for $8 when I went to Montreal in the 8th Grade.  The thought of this almost rotting away in the crawl space makes me cry tears of blood, so thanks mom.

Seriously though, how cool is that?!

All in all, a successful foray into my past.  I had some laughs, shed some tears, and had some more useless music to fill up my iTunes with. I hope you all enjoyed it as heartily as I did. Also, I have one follower, super exciting! I'm moving up in the world.